Friday, October 4, 2013

Halloween Sugar Buzzzzzzzzzzzz

   It is that time of year again for half pint ghost and witches and princesses etc to invade the streets going from house to house begging for candy. Well I guess many areas no longer do door to door trick or treating and have opted for trunk or treat parties etc but Oh back when I was a kid it was so different and so much fun. I have so many wonderful memories of Halloween and if I was able to go back in time I think those would be the times I would revisit.

   We were not poor by any means but did not have a lot of what they call now disposable cash on hand so most of my costumes were home made and often thrown together at the last moment.  I do remember a store bought costume that I think my Mom had picked up at a garage sale it was a Doctor Doolittle costume that I wore for years. It was a plastic mask with slits for eyes and a fabric suit that tied around me like a hospital gown. I wore that costume so many years it was four sizes to small the last year I wore it. It looked something like the picture bellow. I have always been an animal lover and loved the idea of being able to talk with the animals so I loved this costume.
  Once Halloween came and after getting dressed in a costume the real fun would begin. In my early school days they would let you wear your costume to school and the whole day would be a party with cupcakes and candy and coloring Halloween pictures and games like duck duck goose and musical chairs. Some times they would have an apple bob game but the big deal was a parade through the halls to show off your costume to the other classrooms. They would line you up single file and you would walk down the hall and in to each room and march through the room so everyone could view your costume. They would have a vote to see who had the best costume and the winner would get some little prize. My Doolittle costume never won but even so I was always proud of it.

   Halloween night was always so magical to me and also very scary the whole idea of venturing out in the dark chilly fall night was always a bit unnerving but a must if you wanted to score as much sugary treats as you could.  The TV stations for days before would show spooky movies and Peanuts Charlie Brown The Great Pumpkin was never missed if at all possible by most kids. The week of spooky movies helped to build up the tension and add to the spookiness of the night.

   On Halloween night all the kids would get dressed in their costumes and most armed with a pillow case or paper bag to catch the candy the people would hand out although some had plastic pumpkin buckets back then  for most a pillow case or paper bag was the vessel of choice. I always preferred the pillow case, because it never seemed to fail that it would rain or snow making everything damp and a paper bag once wet and filled with candy would giveaway under the pressure, but a pillow case on the other hand could take as much ill gotten booty as one could fill it with.

  The name of the game was (CANDY) and getting to as many houses as you could and fill the pillow case to the rim. Back when I was a kid many houses gave out whole candy bars and not the so called (fun size) they hand out now.  Some gave penny's and at that time popcorn balls and taffy or caramel apples something you can no longer do because people are afraid they are poisoned by the person handing them out.  Now depending on what day of the week Halloween fell upon weekend or weekday being that school was in session would depend on how long you could stay out and beg for candy from your neighbors.

   We would always make sure to go though the trailer park first because the houses were closer and you could collect more candy faster that way. I would get dropped off at one end of a row of houses and picked up at the other running from house to house yelling trick or treat get the candy and run to the next. You had to move fast and try to get to as many houses as possible before they ran out of candy and they shut their light off. A house with the porch light off meant they had no candy so you had to skip that one and move on to the next.

   There always seemed to be that one house that was overly decorated and was so spooky I would almost want to skip it but after all it was candy so I would brave my way up to the door and pray I made it back to the street alive. There also always seemed to be some older lady with a camera and saying how cute you were and want to snap a picture. I would always pose for them but it annoyed me a bit because it was eating into my candy grabbing time. Often it was just cold enough out I would have to wear a jacket that covered my costume but not cold  enough so the jacket would make me sweaty from running around from house to house.

  Towards the end of the night my little legs would be tired and I would be soaking wet from sweat or drenched from the rain. For many kids a nasty cold would followed soon after that wonderful night of candy mania. Once I got home and changed into something warm it was time to dump out the treasures I had collected. We could not eat any of the candy until it was inspected by an adult. I am still under the assumption that inspection part of the night was thought up by the grown ups so they could abscond with some of the candy and not really for our protection. Once the grownups had pilfered the candy they wanted from your pile of goodies you could dig in and separate the good from the bad. I would pile all the Tootsie Rolls in one pile and the Smarties in another and so on.Of course I would have to sample each one as I worked to divvy up the goodies. It would never fail that night even though I was tiered from all the running around I could not fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. Being that I was overly excited about the amount of candy I had gotten and the fact I was so sugared up feeling like a jumping bean it would be hours before I would calm down. Eventually I would fall asleep often after being yelled at and threatened with having my candy taken away. If we had school the next day I would grab a hand full of candy and put it in my Scooby Doo lunch box and head off to school.
   Once at school and even on the bus ride to school the candy I took I would trade getting rid of the stuff I did not like pawning it off on other children for the candy I did like. Once again by the end of the day I would be sugared up and ready to jump out of my skin or feeling sick to my stomach from overindulging on candy. Yes those were the days and as I say if I had a chance to go back in time those would be the days I would revisit. A good old fashioned sugar buzz sounds good to me right about now.

Fall has put me in a funk

   In the past I have always enjoyed the changing of the seasons and all the hoopla that goes with each one. I love the festivals,parades, and in the past would travel miles to experience as many of them as I could. When speaking of the season changes lets not forget the many wonderful foods that often are only served around these times of year and the different drinks like hot cider in the fall and iced tea in the summer. I have always found such joy in the season changes but for some reason the notion that Fall is here again has made me feel very depressed and try as I may I can not shake the feeling.

  I have over the years become addicted to growing things in my yard flowers,shrubs, and I have even planted a few trees. I love to watch them grow and bloom and love to nurture them along, it has become a passion of mine. This year as I watched the blooms fade and the tree leaves turn their many colors and fall to the ground instead of joy I am feeling a sense of loss a dark depression that is out of character for me and not my normal persona.

   I have been trying to figure out what has caused this feeling but can not come up with any solid reason. Maybe it is the fact I am getting older? maybe it is because I am not physically able to do the things I would like? I have no clue but just know this year feels like an ending more than a beginning. It is raining outside as I type this and I can hear the drops hitting the metal roof also something that always brought joy to me but feels so mournful to hear it today. It has been years since I have felt in such a funk I am usually very positive and revel in the wonders of nature and the beautiful display it puts on but not this year not at this moment just a feeling of emptiness that has invaded deep into my emotions.

   After the cancer treatments I have been left with much pain in my hips and back. I have done all the physical therapy they have given and it has helped some but there are days I just can not get passed the pain it causes me. This may have much to do with my emotional state and the fact the weather effects the level of pain I experience. When it is damp or cold it is worse and maybe I am just dreading the oncoming winter months and the knowledge that the pain will only intensify. Also with the cancer treatment I have been blessed with no control when it comes to bathroom issues. I have no warning most of the time so I never stray to far from a restroom and that fact limits my activities.

   Please do not think I am complaining because the alternative of not being alive would suck way worse than what I am dealing with. I see others who are much worse off than myself so I am in no way bitching about what I deal with. I am glad to still be here and just can not for the life of me figure out why this funked up feeling has come over me. I was hoping by sharing this feeling and putting it down in words would help or bring some clarity and I think just maybe it has. Here is hoping that when I wake tomorrow I will have shaken this feeling and get back to my old smart ass self. May Love and Light be with each of you and only good blessings come your way.   

Starting a new

Well it looks like all my old posts are gone for some unknown reason so I will be starting fresh soon when I get the motivation. If you are new to my blog to catch you up I started a blog a few years ago when I found out I had cancer. I started the blog so as to leave something of myself behind encase I did not survive the cancer. Well looks as though I have kicked cancers ass but I am still not out of the woods so to speak. I blogged my thoughts and memories of growing up and about my many past addictions and just a few days ago when I went to post some thoughts found all my old post gone,erased from my blog. Although I find this very frustrating that all my posted thoughts are gone I can not help but think that everything happens for a reason. So for those who have read my blog before and to those who are new I welcome you to my mental ramblings,thoughts,ideas,pains,good times bad times and just all around mess that is my life.