Creative Constipation.

   I have often heard it said that anything we do or say has been done before or said before aka history repeating itself. I thought about that statement and if that is true I thought then why the hell do we bother to speak or to create art etc if it has all been done before? I feel the reason we bother or at least the reason I do is because although it may have been said or done before it was not done or said exactly the same way and certainly not with my personal imprint upon it. No two people think the same way, no two people feel the same way, we each have something new or at least a new spin on the old to contribute. It amazes me the people who are placed in high regard for their writings or their art work or the fact the conveyed a thought that is embraced by the masses yet people who are more creative and talented go without being noticed. Although they may go unnoticed that does not make their contribution any less important. Many of the great artists and writers of the past never became great until their death and someone stumbled upon the fact they had done great things. Their works sell for millions but they received little to no monetary benefit from their creations.

   I have heard in the Art world it is often the person in the know that becomes a success. This meaning if they are mingling with the right crowd who spread the word about them and their talent is how they progress and become sought out for that talent. I have heard people who can sing that never become famous, and those that sound like a rusty hinge become the latest thing and make bundles of money with little or no talent at all. Is it the luck of the drawl? or the fact they are more motivated than others to become famous? I have no answers for this all I know is if fame and fortune are the only reason you create I feel sorry for you. I create because it gives me pleasure I write because it helps clear my mind so that I am able to create. I may not be what one would call a great artist I just use a canvas the same way I use my writing to purge emotions and clear my head.  I like to craft items and re-purpose items because for some reason it gives me pleasure. I can see potential in most anything and the possibility for it to become something beautiful or have a second purpose after it has served its original purpose.

   Some say I have a creative mind I feel I have a practical mind practical in that I would rather take an old dresser that someone else has discarded and refurbish it or re-purpose it making it convey my personality rather than buy a mass produced item that everyone has. If I refurbish or re-purpose an item I have the only one of its kind and to me that makes that item priceless. Some people are happy to live in carbon copies of a magazine photo they copy the look and feel comfortable in that atmosphere I am different in that I want to create my own space one that is more my personality. I have found that hard to do when living with another person who also wants the space to convey their personality and clashes with my own vision of what I want to see.

   I lived with a person who was what I call a stacker. They liked to fill a room to the rafters with items and stack one upon the other. I feel closed in and the space never feels clean to me in that type of environment. I have lived with someone who needed everything visible all the table tops full of items cluttering the space but they liked the fact they never had to look for anything it was all visible. That environment drove me crazy and also never felt clean and always felt unorganized to me. I have lived with a clean freak that had to have everything spotless 24-7 no room for even a spec of dust. I may like things clean but I am not that obsessive that I have a melt down if a towel is left on the floor. I came to the conclusion that how a person is with the space in which they live has much to do with their mental state. I will not go into my personal impressions of each so as not to offend after all it is your space and I feel you should live as you wish if it is not unhealthy for you or those around you that is all I will say on that issue.   

   I live now in a house with others who do not share my views on how the space I live in should look and after years of fighting I have given in and try not to let the lack of my personal imprint bother me so much. I am not a total minimalist but I like things in there place so when I look for them they are were I left them. I like less in a room because it makes it easier to clean. I like to personalize the furniture in a room either by painting it or creating it and those I live with like function more than personality. I as a person who is artistic need an environment that feels a certain way and that will encourage my creativity. I live with people who do not understand that as they are not the artistic types and I feel as if it is a struggle when ever I want to be creative or change the living space to feel more like me. I know this sound like winning but believe me I am not I am just conveying the thought that I need to create and have a comfortable space in which to do so.

   Most who are artistic will understand the need to have a space all their own that they can feel their creative juices and let them flow. I like to be able to work on something walk away from it and when I return be able to pick up were I left off. It seems my items are always in the way and need to be moved for one reason or another so when I get a chance to get back to it I spend most of my time searching for my tools brushes etc that I lose my creative force before I get started. I once had a little studio set up in the basement and had it set up so that I felt very comfortable and at the time able to paint and very prolifically. My little space was needed for something else and I moved everything to a small room next to the stairs. I have not been as creative in that space and feels closed in to me and for some reason sucked the creativity out of me.

Maybe it is not the space maybe it is me maybe it is my environment being so not me or conveying my personality maybe, maybe,maybe. What ever the cause I feel backed up in a sort of mental constipation and have so many ideas in my head but not able to get them out. It can be a sort of hell for a creative person to not be able to purge those images that pop into their mind. Maybe I have a sort of writers block and I am using my environment as an excuse for not buckling down and putting my paint brush to canvas. All I know is that I am at a point of creative explosiveness and if I do not find an avenue soon to let some of the pressure out I can not say what it may cause. So I write in my blog today in an attempt to release some of that emotional constipation and maybe give myself a push to start creating again.