Facades

   So many of us wear false facades. We fear letting others see our true selves so we go through life putting out an image we think others will be comfortable with. I started thinking about this as I sat in a coffee shop a while back watching a group of workman taking a false facade down from a building across the road. The building had been covered with large pieces of metal shaped in large squares and covered with a grey ceramic coating giving a look of sterility or modern office building look. As each piece of metal came off it reviled another section of the brick that was hidden underneath. As I watched the ugly flat surface disappear and the beautiful brick revealed from underneath I wondered who's bright idea it was to cover up all that beautiful brick work? It was so very stylish and ornate not like the box buildings they build nowadays it had character and style and was unique from the other buildings. You could see the brick masons had taken pride in their work and in many ways it was a form of art. The old windows had once been arched at the top and outlined in ornate brick work. You could see that the arched windows had been modified over the years and the arches had been covered over with plywood probably for cost reasons when replacing the windows. The doorway had been moved from the center of the opening to one side  and once had been inset about a foot or so from the sidewalk now was flush with the front of the building. As each piece of the sterile looking facade came down you could see the many changes the building had gone through over the years, each change taking away from the original vision of the building.  

   This made me think of how I have gone through so many changes and built up facades and torn them down over the years. So many of us cover up our true selves hiding behind facades and often not knowing we are even doing so. I remember a time when I was younger running and playing back when I did not care what people thought of me, a time when I was free to say and be what I wanted. A time my dreams had no limits in my mind I could fly if I wanted it bad enough. I wonder why or when I lost that ability to just be me, when did I conform and start wanting to emulate others instead of being an original?

   There have been times over the years I did not like the person I had become or the person I was trying to be because I thought its what people wanted of me.  I am finding as I get older I am returning to that way of thinking, getting back to that not caring what people think about me and getting back to being me. Funny there was a long period of time I was not sure who me was and also a fear of letting people see even a glimpse of the real me for fear they may not like what they saw.   

   All that time wasted putting up facades, time I could have spent just being who I wanted to be. I guess I can chalk it up to learning experiences like trying on clothing to see what pair of pants fits best or what style you look best in. I have become comfortable with who I am or lets say I am on my way to that point. I guess you would call it casual, yep that's my personality just laid back like jeans and a T shirt sandals and white socks or an old comfortable pair of sweat pants no frills,bells or whistles just me not giving a shit what people think.  You may see me on that sight people of Wall mart  looking like I just rolled out of bed and ran to the store and I admit there was a time that would have bothered me but alas I just do not care so sing it with me........ it's my life... and its now or never...... I ain't gonna live forever........I just wanna live while I'm alive. 


                                            ITS MY LIFE!